Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Heroes of the Revolooshun vs Projekt Badass II

     On the lonesome dusty plains of 'da Skid the Grots were on patrol seeking to bring back a worthy prize and gain the recognition of 'Da Kommitee. As luck would have it, as soon as they spied a likely-looking pile of skrap a band of Orks showed up, and not just any Orks, it was the dreaded Elektrik Boogaloo.

      One of the fastest, meanest and Orkiest band of greenies you would ever meet. A ripple of concern moved through the ranks of the Grotz. These Orks rode the shiniest, fastest and shootiest bikes that you could find and there they stood, Da 'Eroes uv'da Revolooshun, without even a Splattapult to their name.

     At that silent moment, as the tiniest kernel of fear began to form in their Grotty little hearts, as a faint whisper of doubt began to seep into their limited consciousness the Head Honcho leaped up onto the figurehead of the Sand Skate and shouted out, "We Wuz 'Ere Furst!". Startled from their doubts the Grotz screamed in reply "We'ze Green Too! Tags fur All!". The Snots, anxious to earn a place in the esteemed ranks of Grottiness, bent their backs with a will to the crank handles and the Sand Skate leaped forward.

       In what was probably  luckiest streak of die rolling in my life (ably assisted but the worst streak in the Electrik Boogaloo's existence) my Grot Mob trounced the Orky Bikers and managed to capture their Nob. I do not expect to repeat this sort of thing over the span of the campaign so you will have to allow me some gloating space.

I was so excited by my new cuttas that I used them before they even got a coat of paint

the Sand Skate (once deprived of sails) stood in for the Big Lugga

as the Lugga careened forward (nearly ramming a Biker)
 one of the Snots got caught in the wurky bitz and was thrown overboard,
 he will be rewarded by 'Da Kommittee for his enthusiasm

the Boogaloo took advantage of their superior mobility and swept down both flanks

the Head Honcho tried to hit the Biker with a krak grenade
but his arm was stronger than he thought and the stikkbomb went long

on the other flank the new cuttas faced off against a Biker for a bit of skrap

the thrown Snot was nearly run over and shot at by one of the Bikers
while the Nob closed with the (very)  heavily manned Sand Snake

the ignominy of it all! thrown from your own vehicle
only to be run down and shot at by the enemy!

much to chagrin of the Bikers they had a phenomenally bad turn of shooting,
two ran out of ammo and none scored a wound

one of the Bikes dropped off a Yoof to grab some skrap,
he also took the time to shoot at the Skate and put the hurt on a Grot

the cutta bravely (stupidly?) tried to ram the Biker

while another Biker snuck around the rocky outcrop to take the cuttas in the flank,
 nobody seemed to notice the lone Grot climbing up the side to grab the bit of skrap on top,
they must have taken him for granite!

this was another bad round for shooting; the Nob and another Biker ran out
and the Banna Waver and one of the Grotz also emptied their mags,
nobody was hurt , by the way

at this critical juncture the Head Honcho put on his brass ones and shouted
"Follow Me Lads"  and charged the Nob, seven Grotz and Snotz
(apparently believing that there IS safety in numbers) charged out with him,
of that lot three Snots and the Honcho managed to successfully board the Bike

this seething mass of angry green managed to match the Nob blow-for-blow
and threw him from his Bike, there was a period of stunned silence after this happened

the Nob landed next to one of the hapless Grotz that had failed to board the Bike,
seeing the stunned and helpless Grot lying on the ground he did what any good Ork would do;
he tried to smash the insolent little thing to bits

in an even more stunning turn of events the Grot survived unharmed! Edit: You can also see as one of the bikes gets fed up with shooting and rams his way through three grots (hitting them all).-dan

in the following turn the green tide swept over the Nob,
 they suffered a fearful price for their bravery

of course, there is no substitute for luck,
this Snot (that guy with the giant finger pointing at him)
survived five rolls to wound, 
in the end the Nob fell, victim of really bad die rolling

on the other flank a game of cat and mouse played out
with neither side able to land a telling blow

back in the center the Grotz scampered about collecting skrap and loading it onto the Lugga

the Bikers bottled out and the Grotz got the greater part of the goods
 including a captive Nob, just my luck the campaign hasn't offiicially started yet!

as a result of the capture of the Nob we had to play the follow up scenario
wherein the Bikers get a crack at capturing him back

but the wind was favoring the Grotz and the cuttas and Lugga sped away

the Bikers got a couple of shots off as the Grotz sped past

there were some tense moments as the Bikers thrusted toward the Grot vehicles

but, in the end, the Grotz got clean away

     I would love to claim that it was my inspired leadership that was the cause of this stunning turn of events. In truth the utterly lopsided luck (entirely favoring the Grotz) make for a game that was as much fun for me as it was frustrating for the Boogaloo. Kudos to Dan for never losing his temper, or his sense of humor!


  1. Yeah, there wasn't a lot I could've done to actually walk away with a win on this one thanks to the failed ammo rolls. In hindsight, devoting two bikes to deal with the cuttas was a waste and I probably shouldn't have risked thrusting my nob bike *that* close to the lugga. However, I did learn that I *never* want to be involved in the scenario we played after that (I think it's called gotcha or something).

  2. I have to say that I have never seen so many Orks "go black" in one game, Grotz have twice as many chances (Never enuf bullets rule) but I didn't come close to you. Look at it this way there is a Yin to that Yang, and the next set of games count!

  3. Wonderful battle report, made all the better for the terrible pun (granite, indeed!).

    1. I do my humble best with m'Lord

    2. Although, from the look of the rock outcropping, it is a sedimentary formation.